June 2013
8 posts
why are blonde jokes so short?
so men can remember them
this took an unexpected turn
Not if you just asked for directions.
May 2013
30 posts
you haven’t experienced true pain until you’ve played candy crush and have one move left and one jelly left to clear and there’s no way you can do it
I have no idea what Eurovision is, but I am LOVING tumblr right now!
The Office is over. And I loved these characters.
Happy Endings and Go On have been cancelled.
I’m left to conclude that laughter is gone.
Why are people not up at 1:12 am my time to talk to me? What is this bullshit? Fuck that, it’s not that late.
You Don't Just Make Pancakes THAT Small: littledefenses: wreck-it-rogers: The fact that Robert Downey Jr. is... →
wreck-it-rogers.tumblr.com
The fact that Robert Downey Jr. is threatening to leave Marvel unless Chris Evans, Chris Hemsworth, Scarlett basically all his Marvel buddies get a pay raise really shows you that he is a great man, a human being, and never thinks of himself above others…
Oh. They’re only making $500,000. Yes, that’s so little…If I feel like calling them selfish rich people then I will. It’s called an opinion. Whether you agree or not, is not my problem.
I don’t know where this person is getting their numbers* because EVERYTHING I’ve read had their salaries at 2-3 million not counting bonuses (RDJ’s $50 million is including bonuses).
I mean, it’s nice that he wants to look out for his costars, which makes him a nice guy, but a great man would offer up part of his $50 million to them if that was such an issue. That amount of money put him in the top ten highest paid screen actors for a movie. If he took a pay cut then the others could make more. I agree that considering the Blockbuster success the movie was that those actors should make more in the second movie but I’m not gonna praise someone who clearly doesn’t need the money for threatening not to do a movie like it would matter to him either way.
“On Periods: Let’s put this shit to bed right now: Women don’t lose their minds when they have period-related irritability. It doesn’t lower their ability to reason; it lowers their patience and, hence, tolerance for bullshit. If an issue comes up a lot during “that time of the month,” that doesn’t mean she only cares about it once a month; it means she’s bothered by it all the time and lacks the capacity, once a month, to shove it down and bury it beneath six gulps of willful silence.”
—
Shakesville: Feminism 101 (via andotherdoublemeanings)
BOOM
(via lagertha-lodbrok)
This is how I’m going to put it now. I’m on my period, therefore, my capacity for your bullshit is lacking.
Just got tickets to see the #NoFilter show in NYC. Boom.
I might actually fangirl over seeing Hannah Hart. I don’t know. Be cool, Steph. Be cool. But, I will have finished my certification and schooling at that point so I’m considering it a celebration present.
“And then one student said that happiness is what happens when you go to bed on the hottest night of the summer, a night so hot you can’t even wear a tee-shirt and you sleep on top of the sheets instead of under them, although try to sleep is probably more accurate. And then at some point late, late, late at night, say just a bit before dawn, the heat finally breaks and the night turns into cool and when you briefly wake up, you notice that you’re almost chilly, and in your groggy, half-consciousness, you reach over and pull the sheet around you and just that flimsy sheet makes it warm enough and you drift back off into a deep sleep. And it’s that reaching, that gesture, that reflex we have to pull what’s warm - whether it’s something or someone - toward us, that feeling we get when we do that, that feeling of being sad in the world and ready for sleep, that’s happiness.”
—Paul Schmidtberger, Design Flaws of the Human Condition (via commovente)
April 2013
64 posts
- Straight guys: Jennifer Lawrence is perfect.
- Straight girls: Jennifer Lawrence is perfect.
- Gay guys: Jennifer Lawrence is perfect.
- Lesbians: Jennifer Lawrence is perfect.
- Gary Ross: Jennifer Lawrence is perfect.
- Suzanne Collins: Jennifer Lawrence is perfect.
- Josh Hutcherson: Jennifer Lawrence is perfect.
- THG cast: Jennifer Lawrence is perfect.
- Obama: Jennifer Lawrence is perfect.
- God: Jennifer Lawrence is perfect.
- Anyone who breaths: Jennifer Lawrence is perfect.
- Jennifer Lawrence: I pee in the woods a lot.
How the Logic of "Friendzoning" Would Work If Applied in Other Instances:
- *Man walks into a store and finds employee*
- Man: Alright, I've had enough. Why haven't you guys hired me?!
- Employee: Uh...well sir, when did you put in your application?
- Man: I never filled out an application.
- Employee: Well sir, we can't consider you for employment if you've never filled out an application.
- Man: No, that's bullshit, because I've been coming here for years now, and every single time I tell you all how much I love this store and how much I appreciate your customer service, unlike some of your other customers might I add!
- Employee: Well, but that doesn't-
- Man: AND I even told you that I didn't have a job!
- Employee: But sir, that doesn't indicate to us that you would like a job at our store. And again, if you've never filled out an application, we can't consider you. Besides, we're not hiring.
- Man: OH! Not hiring, HA! What a laugh. I see your store go through seasonal workers all the time. They come and go like nothing, but you won't consider me as a part-time employee even though I KNOW you've been looking for workers to fill positions? That's insane!
- Employee: Sir, we've been looking to hire a few people for management positions. Do you have any management experience?
- Man: Well no, but what does that matter?
- Employee: ...Well sir, that's what we're looking for. You won't be suitable for the position without management experience.
- Man: Oh that's such a load of crap. You know, you'll be waiting around a long time for a manager if you don't lower your standards a little. Who cares if someone knows how to manage a store? I LOVE this store and I'm willing to work here, that's all that should matter to you.
- Employee: That...doesn't make any sense.
- Man: NO! I'm done. This is over. From now on, no more Mr. Nice Guy.
- Employee:
- Man:
- Employee:
- Man: Fuck you, slut.
